Oh my googoo I laughed so hard when I read your question(s)! NO stupid questions here EVER but do know you can breathe while typing to us! Your excitement is just too cute.
Take a deep breath, you won't kill your plant. Phals are really easy to grow if you don't treat it like a basic houseplant and water it all the time. Brookn has you on a good path with the skewer method; I swear by it.
Water your orchid when the skewer is just barely damp and feels cool to the touch. When you water, take it to the sink and pour lots and lots of water through the bark. Set it out for a while and let it drain. You're done. It may be weeks before it needs more water. Resist the urge to give it little 'sips' in between waterings; the roots will stay too wet and you will have problems later.
Let us now when you can locate some skewers. I don't know about your part of the world, but here they are sold in grocery stores as 'barbeque skewers' very cheaply. Unused popsicle stickes will work also. Relax, you'll do great!!
Wow LOTS of people posted while I was typing this!!!