[Cynthia, Prescott, AZ]

Could you see the mites with a magnifying glass? Spider mites are fairly active, and looking at them for a minute or so should show movement. Red/flat mites are a little different in that they find a spot and just park there, not moving at all. The biggest difference is the life cycle is about 4 times as long, and they prefer different hosts, tho I am not sure what red/flat mites like beyond Phalaenopsis leaves. When you look for mites, always check the backside of the leaves. I have used neem oil for mites by spraying the entire surface of the plant. For good measure, repeat it a week later for spider mites, and 4 weeks later for red/flat mites. Always keep the sprayed plant out of heat and strong light for a few days. Neem is used in tooth paste, I don't think I would worry about it being toxic.